Stream of consciousness and sweat at the gym

Here are some of the random thoughts that went through my head while I was at the gym today:

Gosh, I'd hate to be the person who does the closed captioning for "The View."

What would that job be like? Do you just sit there, watch TV and type as fast as you can? I wonder if you could do that from home or if, somewhere, there is a room of people sitting with personal TV's and computers. One person does The View, another does People's Court another does Days of Our Lives.

I could totally do that job. My last typing test put me at 102 wpm with 2 errors. Of course, I guess most shows have a script and aren't live so you wouldn't really need to type fast.

Regardless, I'd want to pick the shows that I closed-captioned for.

I'd do Gilmore Girls, Lost and Ugly Betty but I'd refuse to do American Idol. God, nothing could be worse than typing the words that come out of Ryan Seacrest's mouth. He shouldn't even be allowed to talk.

Why do I have Tori Amos on my mp3 player? Who listens to Tori while working out? Apparently I do. skip

I do wonder how that whole closed-captioning thing works. Its like keys. Honestly, how many different combinations of notches and grooves can there be? When they make a new lock and key do they then go to some "Master Key Combination List" and mark off that particular combination?

At some point, we will run out of different combinations and then all hell will break loose. My house key could be identical to Dick Cheney's.

Actually, I doubt Dick Cheney has house keys. He probably has a specially designed gun that , when he shoots at his key hole, the bullet goes in, explodes and unlocks the door. That would be weird.

That's a good idea for a horror movie. Not guns that open doors but that some day, in the not too distant future, we run out of key options. There could even be some sort of global government cover-up in which all the world's leaders are aware of the fact that keys have been made obsolete but hide that fact from the general public.

Then, a common criminal will one day say to himself, "I wonder if my key will open this other person's door" and things go downhill from there.

Oh god...Shakira. Must not break out dancing. Must work out on elliptical machine without shaking my hips and bottom. I'm going to invent a new form of exercise where you get to dance while on your elliptical, treadmill, what-have-you...without looking like a fool.

Speaking of treadmills and fools....what is that incredibly pregnant woman doing running on the treadmill? Is she insane or just stupid? I'm all about exercising when you are pregnant (I guess) but not running on a treadmill. Do some yoga or something. Or better yet...just stay home and relax on the couch with a good book. You're pregnant for Christ's sake....if that isn't an excuse to stay home from the gym I don't know what is.

Christ's sake...that's a weird term. If you believe in Christ wouldn't everything be for Christ's sake? If you don't believe in Christ then why would you do anything for Christ's sake?

5 minutes left on the this machine. I feel good. I feel like I could go for another 10 or 15 minutes. I don't really want to do the weights today....


I Wikipedia-ed keys and closed-captioning. My closed-caption questions are answered but my key questions remain.